Into Dust.

A photo not only of what I wore last night, but what I wore to bed. Because I'm dirty like that. Oh, you also get a good view of a messy table. Yummy. This has been one of my most worn knits this year, names "Big Blue". Over the knee socks are my favourite things.

Last night we had friends over to the flat for a pre-NYE party. It was one of those perfect mixtures of the right people, the right music, the right amount of alcohol (veering on the precipice of excess...) Just a lovely combination of very old friends and special new ones, perfect.

I think the last day of the year always provokes a certain amount of thought. My first thoughts about 2010 were quite negatives ones. I worked my ass off for the end of third year, I graduated, our best friend went back to Ireland and plenty of other friends left Liverpool, summer disappeared in a flurry of full-time work...

But the more I thought about it, 2010 for me has been an amazing year, especially from September onwards. I live in a flat with my boyfriend. A beautiful, perfect little flat, I am beyond lucky to have them both. I have managed to do more stuff at university than I ever thought possible. LUDS has given me opportunity after opportunity, on and off stage, I have become more involved in the LGoS side of life, PhilSoc is my baby, I have become closer and closer to my university friends and closer to the friends who have returned to Liverpool... I have just been utterly blessed in so many ways.

2011 holds the promise of hard work and big changes. Yet again, there is work, work and more work and this year, I will try to get the balance right (see tomorrow's pitiful attempt at a Resolution post....) between MA work, uni work and play... I will graduate... again...

I love the idea of a fresh slate. This year I hope I can appreciate everything I have.

A Heart Full Of Love

I went home for Christmas on Christmas Eve. This was the view walking down my road. I loved the snow and I love the way snow seems to change the light. Blue and orange appear unexpectedly and I slipped all the way down the road.

This little toy kept us all amused for literally, HOURS.

Spending time at home is always lovely, lots of food, lots of warmth but I fell back into the feeling of last Christmas quite easily.

However, I think the highlight of my time at home was seeing the 25th Anniversary concert of Les Miserables. The music, the singing, the costumes, the lights, aaaaaah! AND this man...

Erm, possibly the best thing to ever happen to the world of musicals ever?!

I hope you all had a peaceful and happy Christmas. I have now returned to the "town house" to begin the long, hard slog that ends with the beginning of February.

Youth is wasted on the wrong people.

Today was my Mum's birthday. We ventured to a beautiful snowy -14C home to see her, carrying a variety of presents. My very favourite present (possibly of all time) were two CDs, carefully compiled with all our favourite songs that reminded us of her. Some were funny, some were just memorable, and some, including Baby Mine from Dumbo had me, my Mum and my sister in absolute floods of tears. We wanted to watch Annie, she wanted to watch It's A Wonderful Life. She won. A beautiful, long and poignant Christmas film that, for the second time that day, had me crying like a baby. A story of a trapped, devoted man who gave his life for others regardless of his dreams, eventually rewarded by the very people he had strived to save.

"Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends."

Let It Snow.

Sometimes, people are very very thoughtful. I forgot to take a photo of the flowers that accompanied this little note but they were beautiful, as was the thought behind it. PhilSoc has been my little baby this semester. It started as a bit of a nightmare and now I think that we are, as a little academic society, strong and becoming successful. They call me Mummy.

Last night, it snowed. It was a very special night and it's hard to say why. I think it was just the perfect combination of people, food and weather. End of term toasts and snowball fights, it was the epitome of what university should be and I felt very content. The Christmassy feeling is here!

(And long may it continue before I remind myself that I have 12,000 words to write in a month and vomit over myself in a puddle of fear...)

Sex leads to death.

Medea was wonderful. There will be a many more photos to come. The most lovely and fun cast. I am very proud of our show and feel very privileged to have been given the opportunity to be a part of it. Post-show blues has well and truly arrived, rehearsals are over so real life has to come back again. We have had the best three nights, on stage and out and about, I have had such a lovely time, oh gush gush gush. These photos are a very brief selection. I like to close my eyes and pout a lot.

Thanks "my lovers". I love you x

Woman Under The Influence.

"I'm a great believer in spontaneity, because I think planning is the most destructive thing in the world. Because it kills the human spirit. So does too much discipline, because then you can't get caught up in the moment, and if you can't get caught up in the moment, life has no magic. Without the magic, we might as well all give up and admit we're going to be dead in a few years. We need magic in our lives to take us away from those realities.

The hope is that people stay crazy.

When he stops he'll have to be a human being and to be an artist really is to be a freak, in the greatest sense of the world. You're not really interested in living but you're interested in a substitute life, which is what it means to be an artist."

Cassavetes on Cassavetes.

It's getting to that lovely, crazy intense time in a play's rehearsal period when you become very fond of everyone and very aware that it's all very close to ending...

Glass Slipper.

Disney has ruined my life in a number of ways. From inaccurate portrayals of relationships and romance to happy ever afters... But nowhere in Disney did it discuss the horrific preparations needed for a ball. A Yule Ball to be precise.

Nowhere in Cinderella did the Fairy Godmother warn Cinderella that she may have to order her dress online and that it might never arrive.

Nowhere was she forced to spend the afternoon trying on the biggest possible knickers in M&S changing rooms with all her darling dimples and cellulite delicately highlighted by no less than 4 mirrors and harsh lighting and THEN she was never forced into spending £29.50 for ONE PAIR OF KNICKERS.

I don't like Cinderella. I like Bridget much more. And I must never go shopping again expecting a tiny piece of stretchy fabric to turn me into Kate Moss.

Pass me the posh canapés and shots...

Last night, Mathew and I went on a date. We have been together for three years and four months. Understandably, at times, we hate each other and manage to make each other particularly miserable. However, there are times when we remember what effort is and we eat together which, with our conflicting schedules, doesn't happen often enough.

Last night, we went to the place of our dreams as a graduation treat for me (I appreciate it's December...), Puschka on Rodney Street. Absolutely covered in snow. We ate and ate and ate the most beautiful food. Local produce and the perfect combination of flavours. It was the little touches, our names on the table mats, poppy seeds on the pastry, the tiniest sprig of mint on the chocolate mousse.... YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY.

Runaway

I cannot stop listening to The National. They were mentioned to me by my lovely friend, Lauren and they popped up on lastfm.com. It has developed in to a slightly mild obsession but his voice is just divine and warm.

Go and listen. I will probably be doing so on repeat. All day long...

I love being part of a play. I love my lovely, funny cast. Secretly, I love the stress.