Disney has ruined my life in a number of ways. From inaccurate portrayals of relationships and romance to happy ever afters... But nowhere in Disney did it discuss the horrific preparations needed for a ball. A Yule Ball to be precise.
Nowhere in Cinderella did the Fairy Godmother warn Cinderella that she may have to order her dress online and that it might never arrive.
Nowhere was she forced to spend the afternoon trying on the biggest possible knickers in M&S changing rooms with all her darling dimples and cellulite delicately highlighted by no less than 4 mirrors and harsh lighting and THEN she was never forced into spending £29.50 for ONE PAIR OF KNICKERS.
I don't like Cinderella. I like Bridget much more. And I must never go shopping again expecting a tiny piece of stretchy fabric to turn me into Kate Moss.
Pass me the posh canapés and shots...