Did I stutter?!

HI HELLO HIYA BAAAABE!!!

I last blogged about 20, 000 years ago. My laptop has chosen to slowly, very slowly die on me and with my birthday last week, Mathew was being super dooooper protective of his lappy and the secret things hidden on there...

BUT NOW I AM 21. Yeyyy. And I have really enjoyed not reading blogs for a while and then reading them all in one go.

Life has been fun but tiring. I had a lovely birthday but work has left me feeling drained.

SO I am very soon going to blog about all the wonderful things I was going to blog about.

But until then, HI HI HI!

Bastard in a basket.

Just take me there.

DAY OFF AND IT IS SUNNY.

I have been thinking a lot this week. More than usual.

I have decided that you fall out with people for 2 different reasons.

Firstly, because someone did something unforgivable. Something awful happened between you which means that the friendship is ruined and altered beyond repair.

I think this happens occasionally and quite often, after enough time has gone by, you can sit down and talk it out and you can realise things are blown out of proportion.

But the other type occurs more often. The time when you just grow apart.

Maybe something happens which makes it more obvious than it seemed before.

But eventually, you just realise that the friend you loved just isn't that person any more.

And I don't think it's something that can be reconciled. Not really.

Because, as I've touched on before, it's almost impossible, it's almost impossible to see the situation you are in sometimes, because you're in it. You can't objectively look back on yourself and be like "Shit, I've changed and now I'm a twat."

Things just don't work like that. Life would be easier if they did. But I think sometimes it's worth sticking with the slightly more difficult life if it means staying truer to yourself and staying truer to the expectations that you have of the people you surround yourself with.

Giddy Stratospheres.

Summers are just not what they used to be.

They obviously changed. When we were very young, it was paddling pools and ice creams and bike rides and the beach.

Naughty teenage years, "sit offs" and visiting houses and parks. The independence of a job with the benefits of the night time and Sowie Thursdays. Hangovers and naps and relaxing from the exams and HOLIDAYS. Beautiful beautiful holidays to places where the sun exists and beaches are taken for granted.

Now. Internships, placements, expeditions, full time jobs, standing orders and joint accounts. The independence of a job and a flat with seemingly tiny-in-comparison benefits. Getting excited about more work hours at Cult (where I decided to stay) and a 60p pay rise. Feeling constantly heartbroken about saying "yes" to more hours. Living for September rather than clinging on to every precious day of freedom. Feeling very much like a child pretending to be a grown up.

It's boooooooring.

J or J?

Chicken Heads?

I have been at Hollyoaks.

I never ever want to be a stupid person.

I like my long skirt and Ms. Dolan.

I feel uneasy and a bit unsatisfied.

Wedding tomorrow. Not mine. Obviously.