This is our last dance. This is ourselves.

Friday, 26 February 2010

death by diamonds and pearls.

this is obviously not a fashion blog.
i am a student, i am a poor student with a very muted interest in the world of fashion.

however, me and my mummy went shopping today. she wanted to be cheered up and she has a civil partnership to attend soon and wanted something different to wear.

so we trawled and trawled the streets of liverpool and found absolutely nothing of anything interest at all.

but we did pop in to vivienne westwood. as a joke. as an actual joke about these crazy clothes we could never afford. i found the most beautiful dress, over £700 which i tried on, again as a joke.
and what a joke it was. it came with instructions. it ended with both my mother and shop assisstant trying to sort me out in my underwear. i gave up.

my mum tried on this. again, completely unaffordable, unnecessary, too frivolous a purchase to be justified. until she tried it on.
and her face absolutely lit up. and she was sold. everyone complimented the fit, the colour. i convinced it her it was a wise investment to be passed down from generation to generation (or just to meeee!)
it really was lovely and i think i have developed a very naughty little love for Vivienne Westwood. Completely inaccessible, out of my range but maybe something to aspire to...

Random other news. Exam results back, feeling happy, nice and solid and exactly what i needed.

Rehearsals are going well. AS IF it is only three weeks away! But it is developing nicely, getting a real feel for it and I just think it is so different from anything I have ever been in, excited!

two and a half years for me and mathew today. seems like a life time and no time at all. <3

Monday, 22 February 2010

Grey Matter.

this is how i feel today. it has not been a good day.
lots of different things, it isn't very fun.

Friday, 19 February 2010


today i am making life plans. and if everything in my life plan goes to plan, then wow wow wow, next year could be very very exciting! i will be vague for now but HELLO i'm excited!

Wednesday, 10 February 2010


first read through of East last night. it was very very good. it's going to be AWFUL to learn, massive 3/4 page monologues which have already instilled a sense of fear.

some bits of it are SHOCKING. i mean, i don't blush at anything and i can be particularly vulgar at times but oh my, i think i was maybe even a tiny bit taken aback last night.

The "C-bomb" is dropped about a million times. I give it one more read through before we are all so used to it that nothing has an effect any more.
which is the way it should be.

i hate nothing more than people who get upset and offended by swear words. It really really really bothers me. They are just words, mere constructions of letters in a certain order. If people didn't tell you that they were naughty, then no one would be offended by them.

I could make up a swear word today and if enough people were told that it was disgusting and offensive and that it wouldn't be acceptable for them to say it in normal social situations, then in the end, after years and years, it would become a "swear word."

It is all that those kinds of words are. they mean absolutely nothing until you project your meaning on to them.

i say this though not naively. i appreciate that there are certain terms that label people in a derogatory way. words that put people in to boxes and words, that through their negative usage have caused a world of upset and harm. and it's not these kinds of words that i really refer to. but i think there is a very fine balance between those kinds of words with a more sinister purpose and the swear words that i refer to in this, the words we haphazardly drop in to every day conversation.
these words, because of the effects that they have on singular, individual people in a very relative context, have much more reason to be taken offence to.

in a world where political correctness and the language you can and can't use seems to be so heavily dictated by society, it is refreshing and wonderful to be able to sit in a kitchen, reading a play in which there is a section called "Mike's Cunt Speech".

It's a type of freedom to say exactly what you like, as an actor, within a safe medium, within a play where the criticism of the incorporation of such words falls solely on the author as the creator of such a play described as "filthy beyond the call of duty" while you get to fully enjoy speaking in a deliciously awful way.

Monday, 8 February 2010


drama social tonight!
i hate fancy dress. it is a stress that i don't massively enjoy.
BUT i have a tiny little dog and vile pink sunglasses.
AND well, social, yey!

Sunday, 7 February 2010


i love lady gaga. i really really really LOVE her. it borders on obsession.

BUT i wonder, if she ever arrives and just thinks "oh fuck. i look like a twat."

i bet the thought never even crossed her pretty little mind.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

last night, band of skulls. aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
they were bloody wonderful. lots of very sexy guitar and drums. you could hear the words they were singing and they were friendly and they were really brilliant.
AND it was refreshing to see such a fab female singer and guitar/bass player being given centre stage.
lovely stuff.

other really wonderful lovely things include getting cast in Stephen Berkhoff's play "East".

"East is a 1975 verse play by Steven Berkoff, dealing with growing up and rites of passage in London's rough East End.[1]"

Definition from Wiki-wiki-pedia.

I will be playing the character of Sylv. Only 5 people in the play but I am so looking forward to doing some comedy again, feels like it has been a long long time since I made any audience laugh intentionally!!!
I am so excited about getting back in to the swing of things BUT apprehensive at the idea of not being with the Crucible Crew. It has been lovely to see them so much this week, I will just hopefully get the best of both worlds.
Very much more to follow on this subject I feel...


Thursday, 4 February 2010


this was my weekend...
not the sexiest of photos but one of love and joy and sweat and dancing and returning to our old haunts and feeling like the eldest people there... i LOVED it for the girls.

university has re-started so slowly getting back in to the flow.
dissertation topic, picked. hoooooraaaah!

i have been auditioning and drama-y stuff this week. I have call backs which is SO exciting, I love plays and i love people and i have just had such a lovely week.

monday was our welcome meeting back, leading in to drinks and accidental drunk-ness.
tuesday, auditions which again lead to drinks and accidental drunk-ness, although MASSIVELY on the part of mathew... but he doesn't want me discussing that any more out of sheer and horrific embarrassment
and then last night, off to Hannah's with Lauren, Luke and Maggie for some JAZZ at Hannah's, featuring our lovely friend Gemma on the sax. The band were brilliant!

and that is it really. minimal work done, i WILL improve on this. I love having lots of things planned, what a lovely feeling of purpose instead of just plodding/drifting (depending on what i have had to eat) through this last term.

oh dear, that was a very bla bla bla post!