Mildly Terrified on a Permanent Basis.

Apparently, the shit really did just get real.

Degree results are flowing in. Not for me but apparently for everyone else, only adding to the impending anxiety, that nervous wait, the reason you wake up too early in the morning.

I am waiting to find out if I have been accepted on to my MA Philosophy course.

Mathew has his first proper full time job.

The first parent celebrated his 50th birthday this weekend.

We have a real life flat viewing tonight.

I think I am going back to work at the weekend.

My friends have all but disappeared and are doing very grown up things around the world.

And so we can spend our days at the beach and our evenings playing Monopoly and listening to The Lion King, but that element of change underlies everything.

And I am really scared of being left behind. Of falling behind.

I don't know what the dream is, so I can't work towards it.

It is a rather unsatisfactory feeling.